Saturday, July 14, 2012

Back Again!

It has been more than 2 months since I last posted on this blog. I didnt get through in CSE-2011 and the results were absolutely shocking to me. I didnt get through and on the top of it, few people I know got very good ranks which even they weren't expecting. I distinctly remember what happened on that day. After I opened the pdf file of results, I quickly searched for my name. I didnt find. Immediately I started scanning from the top. I found 4 names whom I know in the top 60. In short I received 5 shocks within 1 minute or so. :-) Thank God, I have a strong heart. :-))

More shocks were in store for me which came to the fore when the marks were declared. I got very less marks in subjects which I wrote well and in which I was cocksure of getting good marks. In the first few days after the results and the marks were out, I couldn't even sleep thinking about the disasters. It is not an hyperbole to say that not a minute passed by without thinking about what happened.

It took time to recover normality. Even though I have one more attempt in progress, now I have reconciled with the fact that I may never become a civil servant which is my passion. I have learnt it hard way that passion only makes you a sad person if unfulfilled. What is the use of hardwork when the result is zero? Everyone who knew me, including those top rankers used to expect that I would get a good rank. What is the use of their expectations or wishes? Afterall man proposes, god disposes.

The more I write in this post, the sadder I become. So stopping it here.


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    1. Thanks for the kind words. Yeah, I have actually moved on. Will try to give my best this time gain.