Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Sitting On The Edge Of The Seat

'Personality test' which is third and final stage of the year-long and gruelling Civil Services Exam - 2011 is nearing completion in 10 days. Along with 2417 others who reached this stage, I am eagerly waiting for the results, the Judgement Day with 1000 eyes.

I have to say I have been looking forward to 2012 May all along from 2010 ever since my failure in CSE - 2009. Not an hour went by in the last 2 years without me thinking about the results day, about how to achieve success, about what I have to do after the results etc. I think what I said holds true for every other serious aspirant of civil services, particularly for those to whom becoming an IAS officer was a childhood dream, a passion.

I have to say that contemplating about how I wrote mains exam, how I performed in the interview makes me nervous. Immediately after writing each mains paper (exam) I pondered over how it all went.....and I have to say that I was sure that I did well and I was overall happy over it inspite of some minor hitches and glitches.

But I am no longer so sure of my performance in mains. The problem is I don't remember what I wrote in mains papers particularly in Pub Ad. I started estimating my performance in early December, one month after the mains, and by that time I forgot most of what I wrote in mains. Because of that I can't judge my performance, I can't estimate what marks I would get in mains. Sometimes I get an uneasy feeling that my mains marks would be around 920 a figure which is far lower than my immediate expectations after writing the exams.

Adding to the misery my interview didn't go well. I am expecting around 150-160 marks only which in opinion I deserve. As 150-160 are less-than-average marks, I don't have the luxury of getting less marks in mains in any case thinking that I could cover the gap with high marks in interview.

Looking back I have to say there were some mistakes I committed in mains and interview which were completely avoidable. But as they say, man proposes and God disposes.

The results of the CSE-2011 may be declared in the first week of May, tentatively on May 3rd or 4th. Till then I have to remain cool and calm. At least I have to try to be so.



  2. HI iam the same person who posted the previous comment..iam female from anantapur,while just searching came across ur blog found interesting and read and commented...hey update ur result on that day itself..curious to know about the result..

  3. Basically i have some doubts like what make people like u(Did Engineering in IIT,good at studies and have more and bright career options) focus on civils...i mean do u pupil have any other career option like if not civils then some other thing...or u just completely focus on civils?

    Iam asking this bcoz i want to just change my career path but afraid of failures in new career...and i feel like if i dont get success in my new career then what next?? so just asked above ques...

    1. Speaking about my self....I definitely thought about the scenario if I don't get into CS. I have back-up plans for that scenario. But I hope I don't get to that turn....this is my 3rd attempt, I have one more attempt.

      Many other co-aspirants have back-up plans....some will go back to there jobs, some will pursue MBA, some will write State PSC exams, someothers will write other competitive exams conducted by UPSC. There is no dearth of options.

      Have confidence in yourself and pursue your dreams.....After some years, when you are reminiscing your past, you should not feel bad about not even trying to achieve your dreams. :-))

    2. Ya you are absolutely correct...Thanks a lot...

  4. I know civils is the best thing but the chances of getting success is also low u pupil have another career option or just have confidence that u will achieve it....