Friday, February 22, 2013

My Childhood Dream Lives On

After an excruciating wait of nearly 20 days for the CSM-2012 results, yesterday we were redeemed. Inefficient UPSC took nearly 3 weeks more than the usual time to declare the results. Last few days were terrible for me as this is my last attempt, if I fail in CSM, my childhood dream dies then and there, and if I pass, it lives on giving me a chance to fight on another day. By God's grace and my family's wishes and prayers, I got the interview call. :-) Happy but not that happy as this is only semifinals that I have won.

I didnt count the number of selected candidates but I heard that some 2674 candidates are called for the interview and there are some 1091 vacancies. When full list of the names of the selected candidates, their optionals, their mothertongue, their centre of examination etc comes out, we can have a clear picture about which optionals suffered, which optionals are upscaled, which states excelled, etc. But preliminary estimates suggest that Public Administration, Psychology suffered, and Sociology, science subjects excelled. Some who have connections with the examiners who evaluated the answersheets are even saying that marks in public administration are so low that very few crossed 100 in paper-1 (raw marks) and that UPSC sought an exaplanation from these examiners for awarding so low marks. If the marks are not upscaled then I am sure we are going to suffer and our hopes of becoming IAS will be just pipe dreams.

And as always, there are people who gave interviews multiple times but still couldnt get through this time. I always held that this exam is a lottery because of different reasons and it is luck and fate which matters more than merit. It is proved once again. One of my friends who gave interview last time and who deserves to get selected, failed to make it. It came as a shocker to me. Another one of my friends who gave mains 3 times couldnt get through in this last attempt. It is heart rending and gut wrenching to think about them. It could have been me in their place today. Moreover there is no guarantee that I can get a rank finally inspite of my best efforts. Where does that leave me? God, this is so unfair and unjust.

Congratulations to all those who made it and best of luck for interviews.

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